I could relate to everything !! I must confess that I have cancelled plans last minute just because 🙈 and also when being sick. But I have been cancelled on many times and I never really got upset about it, which says a lot. So overall, I like to do things as much as I like not do them. Yeah, way to go Claire 🤣
The Mulaney quote came to my mind even before I clicked! Only to be followed by such a thoughtful meditation. I'll be carrying the idea of willingness into my autumn obligations/plans. Well done :)
😅 amazing! I only came across the quote while writing this and it is brilliant. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Have a great start to the week, Cecilia 🖤
This is me!! I think it all started one New Year’s Eve, about 15 years ago. My then partner (he’s now my husband) and I were getting ready to go out. I had my hair in curlers, makeup done, and was wearing my fluffy dressing gown. We figured that we’d need to eat some carbs before going out (aka a beer sponge), so I’d made us a lasagne. We ate it, and were so full and satisfied with the meal that we just decided to stay in and watch Jools Holland instead. Bliss!
I do love just staying in. Going out now is such an effort! 🤣
I appreciate sometimes people stretch themselves too thin, but I think I've reached a point when I am not tolerating flakiness. Where do you draw the line between being responsible and committing to coffee plans, and maintaining friendships when it's always the other attempting to arrange catch-ups? Even the energetic extroverts have their limit!
I completely understand, and I also get annoyed when the same person keeps cancelling for the fifth time. I think we all need to improve at managing our energy levels and what we commit to in both ways. We shouldn't have to cancel at the last minute, but we shouldn't force ourselves to go. Are you an extrovert? Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, Barbs 🖤
For sure, finding that balance would be ideal for both. Although it's hard to have this sort of conversations even with friends. Yes, I'd say I am an extrovert by culture. Meeting after work for a quick spritz is the norm and is not seen as a big commitment, in Italy. Whereas in Melbourne you gotta pencil in plans months ahead, and then raincheck, and actually when it rains it's socially acceptable to cancel plans. Also, nobody reschedules after a cancellation.
The cultural difference is fascinating. But I can imagine this. When I visit Turkey and Greece, people are also much more spontaneous than in Germany. Even when I lived in London, it was very typical to decide spontaneously to get a drink after work with colleagues. This doesn’t happen in Berlin.
Because of our perspective. You see, in our entire lives, we exchange time for value (or not). Sometimes that value is money, sometimes it is people, sometimes it is things, sometimes it is traffic ....and so on. When we are relieved due to canceled plans, it's our perspective of the value exchange of getting time back. Time back!! Whoever gets time back?? This is not about being a plans keeper or plans canceler person (I am a plans keeper, so I know that perspective too) - this is about why we feel relieved. It's because of our value/time perspective. The generation flaky part? Well, that's another perspective, and it's a broad one. I don't get upset with a generation - we are all part of one ;) I say "thank you for my time back" whenever a flake (aka cancellation) happens :)
Yes, what you have written makes total sense. This is why I liked the photo with Peanut and their dialogue. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. Happy Weekend 🖤
I never cancel arrangements if the other person has significant value in my life. (I work twenty hours every day.) I make a conscious effort to be on time or arrange to make up for missed time. Sadly, the word "friendship" is archaic in modern use. It must be given new life. (The individuals I consider friends did not support me throughout my difficult times.) I became an entrepreneur and a writer for that reason. We have a lot of tales, among other things, to tell people.
Wow, 20 hours is intense! Yeah, I struggle with being on time haha I’m Mediterranean, but the cancelling I get. That’s why I want to evaluate my capacity and plan less. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment 🖤 Happy Weekend!
Hello, Comrade. I am also a Mediterranean person and in Adana we are famous for shooting at the sun. Apparently, I also found a sales manager in the game company.
"The thrill I experience when plans get cancelled is a bit concerning!"
As an introvert (but all my friends and family think I'm extroverted), I always prefer to be at home alone or in a quiet space with an intimate gathering of less than five people. I've learned to ask myself "do I REALLY want to do this?" when making plans, and listen to my body (and breath) for the answer. My body and breath never lie. Since starting this practice, I commit to less, rarely feel the urge to cancel, and enjoy myself with full presence.
Tugba, this is the introvert's anthem I never knew I needed! Your confession about the thrill of canceled plans resonated so deeply. It's like a secret society where we all pretend to be bummed, but inside, we're doing a happy dance. The relief of reclaimed time, the blissful solitude – it's pure magic. Your teacher's advice is spot on. We need to embrace doing less with willingness. It's not about being anti-social; it's about honoring our need for quiet and recharging. Thank you for articulating this so beautifully!
Fellow social introvert/recluse here! I LOVE cancelling plans. And sometimes it’s worth it go through the discomfort and not cancel. It’s all about the right balance - which is different for everyone.
🤣 I love how you are fully embracing the “I LOVE cancelling plans”
Yes, I agree, and definitely checking in more often if we have the capacity. I have no plans today, and I’m at home all day. LOVINGGG IT! Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment, Stephan 🖤 Happy Weekend!
I’m already dedicated to an upcoming “no plan November”. I’ve decided for a whole month if someone asks me to do a n y t h i n g, I will say sorry, not making plans 🤣 really well written and thought provoking piece as usual!
OMG, I love it! I'm jealous! I’ll be on a family holiday in November in Thailand; otherwise, I would have joined you on the “no-plan November.” Have you ever done anything like this before?
Can highly relate to this, also love the quote from your teacher. I wrote it down
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, Veronica. I will print it out and stick it on my desk haha So I don’t forget!
I could relate to everything !! I must confess that I have cancelled plans last minute just because 🙈 and also when being sick. But I have been cancelled on many times and I never really got upset about it, which says a lot. So overall, I like to do things as much as I like not do them. Yeah, way to go Claire 🤣
I love the honesty 🤣 Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, Claire 🖤
The Mulaney quote came to my mind even before I clicked! Only to be followed by such a thoughtful meditation. I'll be carrying the idea of willingness into my autumn obligations/plans. Well done :)
😅 amazing! I only came across the quote while writing this and it is brilliant. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Have a great start to the week, Cecilia 🖤
This is me!! I think it all started one New Year’s Eve, about 15 years ago. My then partner (he’s now my husband) and I were getting ready to go out. I had my hair in curlers, makeup done, and was wearing my fluffy dressing gown. We figured that we’d need to eat some carbs before going out (aka a beer sponge), so I’d made us a lasagne. We ate it, and were so full and satisfied with the meal that we just decided to stay in and watch Jools Holland instead. Bliss!
I do love just staying in. Going out now is such an effort! 🤣
I laughed so hard, Naomi! Loved your comment. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment 🖤
Haha! Glad I brightened your day! :-)
I appreciate sometimes people stretch themselves too thin, but I think I've reached a point when I am not tolerating flakiness. Where do you draw the line between being responsible and committing to coffee plans, and maintaining friendships when it's always the other attempting to arrange catch-ups? Even the energetic extroverts have their limit!
I completely understand, and I also get annoyed when the same person keeps cancelling for the fifth time. I think we all need to improve at managing our energy levels and what we commit to in both ways. We shouldn't have to cancel at the last minute, but we shouldn't force ourselves to go. Are you an extrovert? Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, Barbs 🖤
For sure, finding that balance would be ideal for both. Although it's hard to have this sort of conversations even with friends. Yes, I'd say I am an extrovert by culture. Meeting after work for a quick spritz is the norm and is not seen as a big commitment, in Italy. Whereas in Melbourne you gotta pencil in plans months ahead, and then raincheck, and actually when it rains it's socially acceptable to cancel plans. Also, nobody reschedules after a cancellation.
The cultural difference is fascinating. But I can imagine this. When I visit Turkey and Greece, people are also much more spontaneous than in Germany. Even when I lived in London, it was very typical to decide spontaneously to get a drink after work with colleagues. This doesn’t happen in Berlin.
How interesting! It's like migration has mellowed all habits.
Because of our perspective. You see, in our entire lives, we exchange time for value (or not). Sometimes that value is money, sometimes it is people, sometimes it is things, sometimes it is traffic ....and so on. When we are relieved due to canceled plans, it's our perspective of the value exchange of getting time back. Time back!! Whoever gets time back?? This is not about being a plans keeper or plans canceler person (I am a plans keeper, so I know that perspective too) - this is about why we feel relieved. It's because of our value/time perspective. The generation flaky part? Well, that's another perspective, and it's a broad one. I don't get upset with a generation - we are all part of one ;) I say "thank you for my time back" whenever a flake (aka cancellation) happens :)
Yes, what you have written makes total sense. This is why I liked the photo with Peanut and their dialogue. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. Happy Weekend 🖤
I never cancel arrangements if the other person has significant value in my life. (I work twenty hours every day.) I make a conscious effort to be on time or arrange to make up for missed time. Sadly, the word "friendship" is archaic in modern use. It must be given new life. (The individuals I consider friends did not support me throughout my difficult times.) I became an entrepreneur and a writer for that reason. We have a lot of tales, among other things, to tell people.
Wow, 20 hours is intense! Yeah, I struggle with being on time haha I’m Mediterranean, but the cancelling I get. That’s why I want to evaluate my capacity and plan less. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment 🖤 Happy Weekend!
Hello, Comrade. I am also a Mediterranean person and in Adana we are famous for shooting at the sun. Apparently, I also found a sales manager in the game company.
"The thrill I experience when plans get cancelled is a bit concerning!"
As an introvert (but all my friends and family think I'm extroverted), I always prefer to be at home alone or in a quiet space with an intimate gathering of less than five people. I've learned to ask myself "do I REALLY want to do this?" when making plans, and listen to my body (and breath) for the answer. My body and breath never lie. Since starting this practice, I commit to less, rarely feel the urge to cancel, and enjoy myself with full presence.
Thank you so much, Teri, for taking the time to read and comment. Have a beautiful weekend 🖤
Loved this!
Thank you so much, Lisa, for taking the time to read and comment 🖤 Happy Weekend!
Tugba, this is the introvert's anthem I never knew I needed! Your confession about the thrill of canceled plans resonated so deeply. It's like a secret society where we all pretend to be bummed, but inside, we're doing a happy dance. The relief of reclaimed time, the blissful solitude – it's pure magic. Your teacher's advice is spot on. We need to embrace doing less with willingness. It's not about being anti-social; it's about honoring our need for quiet and recharging. Thank you for articulating this so beautifully!
I LOVE our little secret society already, haha. I’m so happy to bond with people on this 🤣
I have no plans today and I LOVE being home. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment, Alexander 🖤 Happy Weekend!
Fellow social introvert/recluse here! I LOVE cancelling plans. And sometimes it’s worth it go through the discomfort and not cancel. It’s all about the right balance - which is different for everyone.
🤣 I love how you are fully embracing the “I LOVE cancelling plans”
Yes, I agree, and definitely checking in more often if we have the capacity. I have no plans today, and I’m at home all day. LOVINGGG IT! Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment, Stephan 🖤 Happy Weekend!
I’m already dedicated to an upcoming “no plan November”. I’ve decided for a whole month if someone asks me to do a n y t h i n g, I will say sorry, not making plans 🤣 really well written and thought provoking piece as usual!
Also, thank you, Caoilainn, for taking the time to read and comment. Love you so much 🖤 Happy Weekend!
OMG, I love it! I'm jealous! I’ll be on a family holiday in November in Thailand; otherwise, I would have joined you on the “no-plan November.” Have you ever done anything like this before?
Never tried it before - I will report back 💕
Please write about it! I love your little experiments like the one you did with processed food.
Good idea 💡 will do!