Enjoyed reading this:) I feel the same way, I was just writing about the desire to write like a machine….but machines aren’t inspired to create, they just do what they’re programmed to do…and so I’m better off a sensitive artist who likes her naps😸😸
😂 true, Melissa. Sometimes, we forget and want to act like machines for strange reasons. I guess it's partly because capitalism conditions us to keep hustling. We need to unlearn things again. I always enjoy reading from other artists, though, as it normalizes things. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Loved your words - I hope as spring eases in now it brings more energy for you 😊 I’ve also found this winter hard, almost endless at points, and very relieved to see some sun again now! Thank you for the links, the podcast and book sound really great, and beautiful colours in your work 🩵
Thank you so much, Orla. I managed to brave the cold until the end of February, but now I'm finally in Athens, where I will stay for the next two months. It feels incredible to see the sunshine every day. Many artists are sensitive individuals, so we are also sensitive to the weather. Dark and gloomy days can make us feel down.
Guilty of being too slow, too tired, and too fragile."
What does "enough" look like? A question to ask yourself. And why the guilt?
When I sit on the balcony and gaze at the sea, from the outside it looks like I’m doing nothing. Though, a lot of "manufacturing" is taking place inside. Then follows the "production."
And what about the Spirit?
We need to tend to that as well. Not only Mind and Body. 🖖
Hi Siana, I just read your piece and loved the connection you made between productivity and seasons. Thank you for sharing. I will add your post as an excellent addition to mine in this comment :)
I can really relate to this. Interestingly I really struggle to write when we are having a heat wave - which is the case right now. It’s as if all my energy has been drained from me and there is nothing left for creativity. One thing I have learned from writing this past year is to go with the seasons - the seasons of time and seasons of life. Sorry we couldn’t catch up in Berlin - our time was too short.
Monique, don't worry about anything as long as you had a wonderful time in Berlin. I remember you mentioning that you prefer slow travelling. Speaking of the weather, ufff extreme heat can be quite draining, and this country is unsuitable. It is suffocating! Do you have any particular routine during the summer? Maybe you start working earlier in the day, as it gets boiling in Australia during the summer? No idea. We had extremely hot days last summer, but it only lasted a few days.
Hola , Lo Que Más Nos Cuesta Saber En La Vida Es Quiénes Somos Y Qué Deseamos , Porque Vivimos Para Lo Que Los Otros Quieren De Nosotros. Como Bien Dijo Una Vez John Lennon: La Vida Es Lo Que Te Pasa Mientras Te Ocupas De Otras Cosas. Un Saludo.
¡Esa cita de John Lennon es acta! Si bien estamos constantemente obsesionados con lo que deberíamos hacer o no, la vida continúa desarrollándose con toda su magia ante nuestros ojos.
Yesss. I just had to look at my blog to see when I started writing about creative seasons--August 2021 😳 and I still am on the walk of trusting this fickle season. Winter is the polar opposite of being any bit external, at least for me. Oh, and I am loving the little snippets of the artwork you’re showing here!
Thank you, Lauren :) Now that I'm limiting my usage of Instagram, I decided to share more of my artwork here. It feels better as it's less fast-paced than content sharing on Instagram. I always hated the pressure to constantly produce. I would love to read your article on the seasons. Please share it in the comments below. I wish there was a way to cross-tag each other's posts on similar topics, as every writer/artist has a unique perspective on various topics. It's incredible to read and see what others have done on this.
Also, I've been chatting with Lyly about your mentoring programme on Voxer. I could definitely benefit from mentoring. I am a bit stretched on money now as I will be doing a sabbatical for 6 weeks in Athens starting in March to learn Greek, but I may email you soon and explain where I stand and how best to proceed.
I’m so glad you’re sharing more of your work here because I’m love being immersed in it. Isn’t it crazy how that pressure does build up on IG?
Here are a couple articles I’ve written on seasons in 2021/2022. It was funny going back to them and seeing if I still align/see my growth as a writer.
How exciting you’re doing a sabbatical to study Greek! Lyly shared she was talking with you. I told her how kind that was and that I’d be delighted to work with you, too. I just sent an email out to my past mentees today and I’d be happy to send you what I shared with them. I’ll email you and we can talk further <3
Thank you so much! I appreciate all the great posts you shared with me. I'm going to read them in the next few days. My week has been stressful because of an issue with Substack. I kept escalating the problem in the support chat, and eventually, someone more senior looked into it and fixed it. Unfortunately, I lost some of my notes in the process. I'll get back to you on your email. Thanks again, Lauren.
No rush, Tuğba! When it makes sense for you, I'll be here. I am glad to hear you at the very least got your email sorted out. I am sorry you lost a couple of notes in the process.
I find it difficult when I want to be creative as that makes me feel so much better but I'm tired and out of energy so I can't relax in to making art but nor does anything else feel like it counts. I do try and have one day (or part of a day) a week where I give myself permission to shut myself off and do exactly what I want. It might be watching YouTube, or painting, or procuring delicious food and coffee and reading a book. That helps reset me after years of feeling as you describe.
Yes, I definitely need to start doing this. I could take it even further and have a day without the internet or devices. I work in tech four days a week, so I'm trying to fit in my creative work during the rest of my time. However, I need to consciously plan to have reset time to get out of this vicious cycle of feeling guilty and be more proactive in deciding to take time for myself instead of waiting until my body is already at its limit. Thank you, Jennifer :)
You are welcome. It does seem like a terrible waste at first but believe me, you'll soon start resenting anyone/thing that intrudes on this precious time!
Awareness into practice is so hard, but it is a practice to stop and listen to what your body and mind needs. Shame is not the answer. Be kind to yourself.
I know! If you told me all this as a friend, I would never shame you! But somehow, it is so tough to be kind to ourselves. But thank you, Lisa. Putting awareness into practice is so hard. It reminded me again that we should give credit to ourselves for these things. It is not easy, and we are all doing our best, and our best looks different every day.
Enjoyed reading this:) I feel the same way, I was just writing about the desire to write like a machine….but machines aren’t inspired to create, they just do what they’re programmed to do…and so I’m better off a sensitive artist who likes her naps😸😸
😂 true, Melissa. Sometimes, we forget and want to act like machines for strange reasons. I guess it's partly because capitalism conditions us to keep hustling. We need to unlearn things again. I always enjoy reading from other artists, though, as it normalizes things. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Loved your words - I hope as spring eases in now it brings more energy for you 😊 I’ve also found this winter hard, almost endless at points, and very relieved to see some sun again now! Thank you for the links, the podcast and book sound really great, and beautiful colours in your work 🩵
Thank you so much, Orla. I managed to brave the cold until the end of February, but now I'm finally in Athens, where I will stay for the next two months. It feels incredible to see the sunshine every day. Many artists are sensitive individuals, so we are also sensitive to the weather. Dark and gloomy days can make us feel down.
Dear Tuĝba, when you say
"Guilty that I’m not creating enough.
Guilty that I’m not sharing enough.
Guilty that I’m not productive enough.
Guilty of being too slow, too tired, and too fragile."
What does "enough" look like? A question to ask yourself. And why the guilt?
When I sit on the balcony and gaze at the sea, from the outside it looks like I’m doing nothing. Though, a lot of "manufacturing" is taking place inside. Then follows the "production."
And what about the Spirit?
We need to tend to that as well. Not only Mind and Body. 🖖
Your writing always feels so relatable!
This echoes my sentiments lately.
I love this! I wrote about it in my last post on creating a new "productivity". Making space for seasons within us.
Hi Siana, I just read your piece and loved the connection you made between productivity and seasons. Thank you for sharing. I will add your post as an excellent addition to mine in this comment :)
https://sianab.substack.com/p/a-new-productivity
Thanks Tugba, for reading and sharing xx
I can really relate to this. Interestingly I really struggle to write when we are having a heat wave - which is the case right now. It’s as if all my energy has been drained from me and there is nothing left for creativity. One thing I have learned from writing this past year is to go with the seasons - the seasons of time and seasons of life. Sorry we couldn’t catch up in Berlin - our time was too short.
Monique, don't worry about anything as long as you had a wonderful time in Berlin. I remember you mentioning that you prefer slow travelling. Speaking of the weather, ufff extreme heat can be quite draining, and this country is unsuitable. It is suffocating! Do you have any particular routine during the summer? Maybe you start working earlier in the day, as it gets boiling in Australia during the summer? No idea. We had extremely hot days last summer, but it only lasted a few days.
Hola , Lo Que Más Nos Cuesta Saber En La Vida Es Quiénes Somos Y Qué Deseamos , Porque Vivimos Para Lo Que Los Otros Quieren De Nosotros. Como Bien Dijo Una Vez John Lennon: La Vida Es Lo Que Te Pasa Mientras Te Ocupas De Otras Cosas. Un Saludo.
¡Esa cita de John Lennon es acta! Si bien estamos constantemente obsesionados con lo que deberíamos hacer o no, la vida continúa desarrollándose con toda su magia ante nuestros ojos.
Yesss. I just had to look at my blog to see when I started writing about creative seasons--August 2021 😳 and I still am on the walk of trusting this fickle season. Winter is the polar opposite of being any bit external, at least for me. Oh, and I am loving the little snippets of the artwork you’re showing here!
Thank you, Lauren :) Now that I'm limiting my usage of Instagram, I decided to share more of my artwork here. It feels better as it's less fast-paced than content sharing on Instagram. I always hated the pressure to constantly produce. I would love to read your article on the seasons. Please share it in the comments below. I wish there was a way to cross-tag each other's posts on similar topics, as every writer/artist has a unique perspective on various topics. It's incredible to read and see what others have done on this.
Also, I've been chatting with Lyly about your mentoring programme on Voxer. I could definitely benefit from mentoring. I am a bit stretched on money now as I will be doing a sabbatical for 6 weeks in Athens starting in March to learn Greek, but I may email you soon and explain where I stand and how best to proceed.
I’m so glad you’re sharing more of your work here because I’m love being immersed in it. Isn’t it crazy how that pressure does build up on IG?
Here are a couple articles I’ve written on seasons in 2021/2022. It was funny going back to them and seeing if I still align/see my growth as a writer.
- https://www.laurensauder.com/journal/embracing-creative-seasons-a-fresh-look-at-the-creative-process
- https://www.laurensauder.com/journal/4-seasons-of-the-creative-process
- https://www.laurensauder.com/journal/preparing-for-the-artists-winter-season
How exciting you’re doing a sabbatical to study Greek! Lyly shared she was talking with you. I told her how kind that was and that I’d be delighted to work with you, too. I just sent an email out to my past mentees today and I’d be happy to send you what I shared with them. I’ll email you and we can talk further <3
Thank you so much! I appreciate all the great posts you shared with me. I'm going to read them in the next few days. My week has been stressful because of an issue with Substack. I kept escalating the problem in the support chat, and eventually, someone more senior looked into it and fixed it. Unfortunately, I lost some of my notes in the process. I'll get back to you on your email. Thanks again, Lauren.
No rush, Tuğba! When it makes sense for you, I'll be here. I am glad to hear you at the very least got your email sorted out. I am sorry you lost a couple of notes in the process.
I find it difficult when I want to be creative as that makes me feel so much better but I'm tired and out of energy so I can't relax in to making art but nor does anything else feel like it counts. I do try and have one day (or part of a day) a week where I give myself permission to shut myself off and do exactly what I want. It might be watching YouTube, or painting, or procuring delicious food and coffee and reading a book. That helps reset me after years of feeling as you describe.
Yes, I definitely need to start doing this. I could take it even further and have a day without the internet or devices. I work in tech four days a week, so I'm trying to fit in my creative work during the rest of my time. However, I need to consciously plan to have reset time to get out of this vicious cycle of feeling guilty and be more proactive in deciding to take time for myself instead of waiting until my body is already at its limit. Thank you, Jennifer :)
You are welcome. It does seem like a terrible waste at first but believe me, you'll soon start resenting anyone/thing that intrudes on this precious time!
I tried it last Saturday when I spent the entire day doing exactly what I wanted, with my phone turned off - pure bliss
Awareness into practice is so hard, but it is a practice to stop and listen to what your body and mind needs. Shame is not the answer. Be kind to yourself.
I know! If you told me all this as a friend, I would never shame you! But somehow, it is so tough to be kind to ourselves. But thank you, Lisa. Putting awareness into practice is so hard. It reminded me again that we should give credit to ourselves for these things. It is not easy, and we are all doing our best, and our best looks different every day.
Wanted to write something more interesting but the only thing I can say is "it resonates so much "
Nothing interesting is needed, Lyly :) I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter what you write in your comments.
i'm the little elf at the back saying "hey friend, it's dark but i'm here !" :D
I loveee this!! I love your quirky comments haha you slide into my DMs as an Elf haha