This is some amazing writing. I've actually been really good with keeping friction in my life and not falling into these attention traps, but it's a daily struggle for sure.
This resonates with me and thank you for sharing. I realised how hooked I was on my phone after it was stolen from me in a street crime. I was distracted trying to choose a song, the thief rode besides me and snatched my phone out of my hand and quickly got away. I was fortunate to cancel everything and remotely delete everything on my phone, but a few days after with no phone at all to]aught me how much I had relied on it. So now, I put my phone down when I get home from work, I have all notifications turned off, I have set times for social media and have total switch off times during the day when I don’t have any devices near me. Stress levels are way down! I still have my moments when I fall into that trap, but I built a strong morning routine that stops me from picking up my phone first thing in the morning. It took having my phone stolen to actually realise how bad it was for me!!!
Thanks for writing on this. I started a piece about this exact phenomenon of frictionlessness a few months ago but didn't get around to finishing it. I strongly dislike the way it feels when I'm engaging with a system designed to work this way: manipulative, like being greased up & set on an increasingly steeper slide... I try to build friction into my life wherever I can, & boredom too... But it's lonely these days. You're looking around and nobody else is. Happy to have found your work
I like this attention series. I would recommend a book to all the readers. It is called Stolen Focus by Johann Hari. It changed me and my life. It talks about how attention & focus has been stolen from us. I am a reader for life & watching Instagram, FB, Shorts, reels, Youtube is detrimental to my attention which I need to read 400 page novels. I quit years ago and life is good now. I only consume what I actually need. It is like mindful consumption for brain.
Also I noticed, you mentioned solo travelling to Asia. Can you please share your experience and observations in perhaps another post?
Unfortunately, I have tried to hide / get rid of Shorts from Youtube app but there is no app possible for it. Youtube is great for long form content, but Shorts is just pure garbage.
Interestingly, I have a colleague who worked in the Youtube team at Mountain View HQ. Amongst many other reasons, he quit on moral grounds seeing the metrics being tracked in the Youtube PM meetings (such as average time spend, number of scrolls etc)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I Keep smiling when I read your words: "To be honest, half the time, I just abandon the cart altogether." We don't need so much, do we?
Bright and clear as always. Thanks for naming and compiling this list of behaviors that remove the friction we need.
Sometimes I feel sad because I think I have to be super Zen and deeply aware just to live a normal life of connection with humans and the surroundings. I know I don't have to be, but to bring friction back and take the pause, the only way I've found is the continuous practice of it, like a monk.
Once you realize & understand how the systems work to entrap your attention a lot of your actions make sense. How we snatch up our phones as they notify us. How eager we are to see the likes, the shares.
It is interesting to observe how this affects us in other places. We don't want to wait anymore. We don't want to wait for any amount of time.
Customers become annoyed if a transaction via speedpoint takes too long - rarely longer than 60 seconds. The tap-tap of a card on the counter a reminder of how valuable time is - or is it an indicator of how rushed we are?
So good, as always! You have a knack of noticing so much that most of us just seem to be oblivious to because we’re so used to it.
You’re so right about pausing. I had a job interview a while back and (trying not to sound arrogant here), I felt it went really well and it should have been in the bag. I then received the “thanks, but no thanks” email from the recruiter. I responded from the gut, and do wish that I hadn’t now 🤔😬
Awww thank you — I really try my best haha. After all, “noticing the in-between spaces” is the tagline of my newsletter!
I think since I started writing, I’ve begun to notice these little things more and more. It’s been a good shift — not just for my writing, but also because I really don’t want to live life on autopilot.
Lol don’t worry — do you know how many “I wish I hadn’t sent that” moments I’ve had?? Countless emails and messages. You live and learn.
But honestly, I do think giving yourself some distance and maybe sending it the next day really helps. I usually feel a little kinder the next morning haha Still… sometimes you just need to let it out and regret it later 😂
I hope you’re doing well, Naomi. Sending you a hug — have a wonderful Sunday, my lovely 💛
I love the way you articulated this. It’s something I think about a lot, especially in terms of algorithms. What am I being shown and not shown when it comes to content, or things I might buy? The biggest players (in any medium/category) will use algorithms, whereas say a small bookstore is going to show staff recommendations rather than something artificially generated. But I’ve had to do a lot of personal rewiring to move away from the big players and purchase more mindfully online.
Totally! And honestly, I’m still not quite there yet. These days, it takes such a crazy amount of effort not to be controlled by algorithms and the big players.
I still have my Kindle, unfortunately — and now they’ve made it so difficult to switch to Kobo. I hate it!
What other things do you do, besides bookstores? I’d really love to learn from you all too.
Thank you so much for reading and supporting my work. Wishing you a wonderful Sunday 💛
Thank you Tuğba as always. One sec looks fantastic, I just downloaded it and can see I'm going to enjoy having this. Thank you for the tip!
This is some amazing writing. I've actually been really good with keeping friction in my life and not falling into these attention traps, but it's a daily struggle for sure.
This resonates with me and thank you for sharing. I realised how hooked I was on my phone after it was stolen from me in a street crime. I was distracted trying to choose a song, the thief rode besides me and snatched my phone out of my hand and quickly got away. I was fortunate to cancel everything and remotely delete everything on my phone, but a few days after with no phone at all to]aught me how much I had relied on it. So now, I put my phone down when I get home from work, I have all notifications turned off, I have set times for social media and have total switch off times during the day when I don’t have any devices near me. Stress levels are way down! I still have my moments when I fall into that trap, but I built a strong morning routine that stops me from picking up my phone first thing in the morning. It took having my phone stolen to actually realise how bad it was for me!!!
Great reminders for all of us. I stopped reading mid-article and went to check if I could turn off the autoplay on Youtube. Thanks for that! :)
Love it :-) this information is power, we can't stop something we don't have the name for.
Thanks for writing on this. I started a piece about this exact phenomenon of frictionlessness a few months ago but didn't get around to finishing it. I strongly dislike the way it feels when I'm engaging with a system designed to work this way: manipulative, like being greased up & set on an increasingly steeper slide... I try to build friction into my life wherever I can, & boredom too... But it's lonely these days. You're looking around and nobody else is. Happy to have found your work
Love the suggestion of bringing friction back.
Friction provides grip.
I like this attention series. I would recommend a book to all the readers. It is called Stolen Focus by Johann Hari. It changed me and my life. It talks about how attention & focus has been stolen from us. I am a reader for life & watching Instagram, FB, Shorts, reels, Youtube is detrimental to my attention which I need to read 400 page novels. I quit years ago and life is good now. I only consume what I actually need. It is like mindful consumption for brain.
Also I noticed, you mentioned solo travelling to Asia. Can you please share your experience and observations in perhaps another post?
Unfortunately, I have tried to hide / get rid of Shorts from Youtube app but there is no app possible for it. Youtube is great for long form content, but Shorts is just pure garbage.
Interestingly, I have a colleague who worked in the Youtube team at Mountain View HQ. Amongst many other reasons, he quit on moral grounds seeing the metrics being tracked in the Youtube PM meetings (such as average time spend, number of scrolls etc)
Yep! People watching…👍🏼
“Put Your Phone Away When You’re With People.”
That sounds like a good t-shirt message.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I Keep smiling when I read your words: "To be honest, half the time, I just abandon the cart altogether." We don't need so much, do we?
A Personalized Regret Analyzer for Social Media Posts?!?! that's fantastic XD
Bright and clear as always. Thanks for naming and compiling this list of behaviors that remove the friction we need.
Sometimes I feel sad because I think I have to be super Zen and deeply aware just to live a normal life of connection with humans and the surroundings. I know I don't have to be, but to bring friction back and take the pause, the only way I've found is the continuous practice of it, like a monk.
A well written piece.
Once you realize & understand how the systems work to entrap your attention a lot of your actions make sense. How we snatch up our phones as they notify us. How eager we are to see the likes, the shares.
It is interesting to observe how this affects us in other places. We don't want to wait anymore. We don't want to wait for any amount of time.
Customers become annoyed if a transaction via speedpoint takes too long - rarely longer than 60 seconds. The tap-tap of a card on the counter a reminder of how valuable time is - or is it an indicator of how rushed we are?
So good, as always! You have a knack of noticing so much that most of us just seem to be oblivious to because we’re so used to it.
You’re so right about pausing. I had a job interview a while back and (trying not to sound arrogant here), I felt it went really well and it should have been in the bag. I then received the “thanks, but no thanks” email from the recruiter. I responded from the gut, and do wish that I hadn’t now 🤔😬
Awww thank you — I really try my best haha. After all, “noticing the in-between spaces” is the tagline of my newsletter!
I think since I started writing, I’ve begun to notice these little things more and more. It’s been a good shift — not just for my writing, but also because I really don’t want to live life on autopilot.
Lol don’t worry — do you know how many “I wish I hadn’t sent that” moments I’ve had?? Countless emails and messages. You live and learn.
But honestly, I do think giving yourself some distance and maybe sending it the next day really helps. I usually feel a little kinder the next morning haha Still… sometimes you just need to let it out and regret it later 😂
I hope you’re doing well, Naomi. Sending you a hug — have a wonderful Sunday, my lovely 💛
I love the way you articulated this. It’s something I think about a lot, especially in terms of algorithms. What am I being shown and not shown when it comes to content, or things I might buy? The biggest players (in any medium/category) will use algorithms, whereas say a small bookstore is going to show staff recommendations rather than something artificially generated. But I’ve had to do a lot of personal rewiring to move away from the big players and purchase more mindfully online.
Totally! And honestly, I’m still not quite there yet. These days, it takes such a crazy amount of effort not to be controlled by algorithms and the big players.
I still have my Kindle, unfortunately — and now they’ve made it so difficult to switch to Kobo. I hate it!
What other things do you do, besides bookstores? I’d really love to learn from you all too.
Thank you so much for reading and supporting my work. Wishing you a wonderful Sunday 💛