32 Comments

Mmm, perhaps go back and explain ‘compassion’ to a child, patriarchy has a habit of unknowingly and convincingly talk to itself great things in acting care with labels.

Sensitivity is where humans excel, sensitivity is where humans remove with labels and exaggerations while squashing out the genius.

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I'm unsure if I understand your comment correctly, but I would like to. Would you mind elaborating a bit more, especially on the first part? Happy Sunday 🖤

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Ah, ok here we are.

I was ruminating over a carrier wave to a friend, this seemed a great analogy of being hurt, yet with a message inside, we would run to our mother and seek her gentle waves from her chest, a ‘there there’ of words, don’t be upset. So of upsettedness of the noisy wave the memory gains a total in difference, but I’d like to stop using the word ‘balance’ as it is of a bipolar attitude that doesn’t exist in reality, our heart is on one side, the brain is on the other, the memory is neither, it is drawn from the world, not the mind.

Oops, more explaining, ok, when we get the flu (or Co vid) it invokes muscle memory of our past bruises, the symptoms were a research project in to abstractions of millions of experiences to define a recognizable pattern, I believe the Jury is still out on this one because we are studying the carrier wave, by using the pieces after the tsunami.

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Thank you for sharing and explaining 🖤 it makes more sense now!

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Oh, wonderful you, now I need go back and check my notes, something to do with inference, over sight, projectionism, not listening. (Substack is new to me so it seems thread bare when I can blab an entire week of spreading proverbial seeds, no worries it’s all about the world we know is possible)

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Well for sure I think you had a nice time for your special day. Always seems to me that you need to reach that 'magic' number to be taken more seriously, at least seems so top me. Well, good you got around, you take care too, keep writing too (part of taking care). I wonder, sending this message reaches only you or is it also on the general comments? If only you, could also reposed in German should you prefer that, ciao, Glenn

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May 5Liked by Tuğba Avci

Hey @tugbaavci, well written article. Really liked the perceptive writing. Every once in a while, it's nice to read such articles. It keeps me on my toes and makes me aware of all these things that go back into memory bank and get dusty. It's nice to clean them up every now and then. Subscribed!

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Thank you, Vishy! Sorry for the delayed response. I was travelling last week for my birthday. I am slowly catching up on everything. I appreciate your support. Have a great weekend!

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Thanks for the lie Tuba; a new short story of mine is out later today. In your recent post, you gave way our upcoming 40th - hope you'll have a nice day. Take care, Glenn

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Thank you, Glenn! Sorry for the delayed response. I was travelling last week for my birthday. I am slowly catching up on everything. Yes I turned 40 :) Not sure how I feel about it yet but I will get there. Have a great weekend 🖤

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That's fine ! Goes to show you are busy and living life !! Good start to you too. Here, have drafed another short story this morning :)

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Well thank you Tuba, the same to you ! I don't really celebrate, just appreciate the quiet days.

Be productive !

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Totally missed your comment. Thank you! Have a good start to the week!

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Dear Tuğba, once again a very relatable post, and to the point!

Thanks for introducing the RAIN framework!

Another framing I often use, is to see emotions as somatic notifications. The notifications are not the message 🙃

🖖

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Thanks, my friend! When I read notifications, I thought of the ones on our phones. I like that! That's a clever way to view it. We can acknowledge notifications without acting on them. Although I switched off notifications on my phone, haha, as they keep distracting me, that's still a good metaphor.

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Too bored to go into the settings and disable them... Just slide them into oblivion without even checking them 🤣

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A really helpful piece personally. A timely reminder that awareness is the most valuable thing we have if we want to be more alive and less trapped by our habitual responses to situations and people! A lot to keep in mind about how to relate to aspects of ourselves that we actively attempting to push away but that can tell us something if we turn towards. Thanks for the inspiration.

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Thank you so much co-writer hehe 🖤

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Thanks! Another text so helpful. I learn so much about myself each time you write about yourself <3

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Thank you so much Andreas! Happy Easter 🐣

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Great post, and I’ve not heard of RAIN before.

I have certainly experienced periods of jealousy and envy here on Substack, and I’m a little better now at noticing it than I was before. Being curious is the key!

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Thank you very much, Sarah! I think 'envy' is a better-fitting word, but 'jealousy' is more commonly used. And we love to keep mixing them up :) We are learning to live until we die. I often remind myself that even a slight increase in awareness is better than none. However, it takes a lot of strength to have that little awareness, especially when shame is involved. At least, that has been my personal experience. Happy Easter if you are celebrating! Hope you can enjoy the long weekend 🐣

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Thank you and happy Easter to you too!

I really like what you say here: we are learning to live until we die.

Also, I listened to a great podcast the other day about envy and jealousy. Here’s a link if you’re interested https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri/id1567190358?i=1000649146839

(Hope that works!)

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Sorry for the delay in responding. Totally missed your comment. I saved the podcast, and I'm looking forward to listening to it. Have a good start to the week 🖤

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Hola , Es Sorprende Él Influyó Magnético Qué Producen Tus Ensayos En Mí Mente. Después De Leer Varias Veces Él Texto , Puedo Decir Sin Lugar A Dudas , Que No Soy Una Persona Celosa. Sobre Él Trauma Que Puede Experimentar Una Persona , Tras Una Situación Crítica , En Mí Caso La Pérdida De Mí Pareja Y Él Bebe Que Esperábamos , No Vale De Mucho Ninguna Terapia , No Hay Nada Qué Té Pueda Curar De Ese Dolor , Las Emociones Negativas Siempre Estarán Hay , Para Él Resto De Tú Vida. Un Saludo.

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¡Lamento mucho escuchar esto! Perder a un ser querido es uno de los peores sentimientos de la vida y realmente influye en el resto de nuestras vidas, pero perder a un hijo es probablemente lo peor que un padre puede experimentar: mi más sentido pésame. No creo que nada pueda curar este dolor. Sólo aprendemos a vivir con ese dolor. No estoy seguro si estás celebrando la Pascua, pero si eres feliz Pascua. Espero que tengas unos hermosos días.

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Hola , Gracias Por Esas Hermosas Palabras. Que Pases Una Feliz Pascua. Un Saludo.

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Very stirring insights

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Thank you so much Glenn! Happy Easter if you are celebrating! Hope you can enjoy the long weekend 🐣

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Well written piece ❤️

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Thank you so much Peter! Happy Easter if you are celebrating! Hope you can enjoy the long weekend 🐣

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