48 Comments

Beautiful piece Tuğba !

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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, Maïssane. I don’t know how your name is pronounced, but this may sound weird—it’s somehow nice to look at. Maybe it’s the two dots above the 'i' that make it look so pretty. Where is your name from?

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Perhaps, the endlessly out flowing compassion of the All Giving Mother gives in a way that doesn’t take away from herself ❤️‍🔥🪞🌺

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I obviously relate to all of it. Group chats are the worst for me. I physically feel uneasy when I am aded to one. I changed the parameters of whatsapp so I get asked to join a group. As soon as I don't need to be in that group, I exit !! I don't have notifications and sometimes I don't have the app so I use it from the Web browser and I deleted my social accounts throughout the years. I'm still very much connected but a lot less.

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Wow, that's amazing, Claire. So you don’t have WhatsApp installed on your phone? Do you just use it from the browser? I love that you are also doing so many things to combat this madness. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment 🖤

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I do have whatsapp but I don't use it as much as before

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Ohhh this post, lovely Tuğba!! You captured exactly what I've been feeling these last several weeks. I had to navigate a pretty intense burnout over the last two years and I began to return back to social media this Summer. I had several boundaries set in place, but it became clear very quickly how different my energy levels are now and after being more online again, I realized that it isn't necessarily an app that drains my energy, but more how I still let everything I use, dictate my mental realm and how this flows into my actions and what I feel I should do versus what I truly desire. This is where I have to exercise a lot more discernment. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful piece! The last few years I often felt a lot of guilt for my lack of energy to respond to all the messages/comments and overwhelm by all the notifications, especially as I used to be everywhere online. I'm so glad that I'm not alone with this. 🧡

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I'm so sorry to hear that. A friend of mine recently experienced a burnout, and I was shocked to see him, even though he had started feeling better after a couple of months of being unwell. He looked so fragile; I couldn't believe it! Honestly, try not to be too hard on yourself. Even without burnout, what we have to deal with daily is just not normal. It's madness.

I'm researching attention because I want to write another post about how we are damaging our focus. We all need to realize and accept that this is simply unmanageable, and we should be more understanding. Thank you for sharing and for taking the time to read. Virtual hug 🖤

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Tuğba, I felt every word of this. The constant juggling of communication apps, the guilt of unread messages, the pressure to always be "on" - it's exhausting. Your honesty about the struggle is so refreshing. It's a relief to know I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed by the digital noise.

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Thank you so much, Alexander! 🥰 It really feels good to know that I'm not alone in this. I sometimes wonder if I’m too fragile or overly sensitive, but clearly, I’m not alone in feeling this way. Are you taking any steps to address it? I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 🖤

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Dear Tugba, thank you so much for this piece. I found myself in almost every sentence. I also struggle with guilt, stress and pressure when it comes to Digital Communication. It helps to read that others are struggling too and of course to get some solutions. To be aware of it is the first. And your article helped me a lot, especially because of your honesty. Xoxo

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Aloha, I have a cell phone & a seldom used iPad. Living remotely often limits data reception or no connection at all occasionally at times here in the Kingdom of Hawai’i 🌺 on the Hawai’i Big 🏝️

Instead of being frustrated by the usual tech challenges, I accept & enjoy the authentic lush natural wealth surroundings & the ❤️‍🔥 heart centered people. Sometimes when atmospheric conditions align, I do get a phone signal to connect to the Internet. I can go to town for WiFi.I live be on the grid with the electric power lines buried underground that connect the 🏡 built in the early 1990s. It would probably cost a couple thousand U$A to bring in the WiFi fiber optic line. So it’s at least 10 miles to the nearest public WiFi place.

I ride a bicycle or ride a scooter & simultaneously hitch hike while moving along or when the timing arrives hop a free for now public transit. I’m amazed hitch hiking still works these days. I appreciate when I get a local person or ride from a tourist, while significant conversation unfolds …

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Funny enough, my friend who sent me a voice note after she read my post said exactly what you wrote! She expressed relief, saying, "Wow, I don't feel alone, and I feel seen." She also mentioned that we often think we're going through these feelings alone. It also makes me feel good as a writer to know I'm not alone in this or exaggerating. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm too sensitive or easily overwhelmed, but it's reassuring to realise it's not just us! Thank you for taking the time to read, comment, and restack Çiğdem 🖤

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*first step

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Yes, safe ⛰️ passage, ongoing inner cleansing work, growing super foods & ornamental plants 🌱 is comfortable vitality.

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Yesss that sounds like a dream Michael 🥰 More of that please!

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Mahal💫 for the encouragement & Ur inspirations 🌅

I live remotely on the side of an active 🌋 next to the end of the road & civilization without WiFi & with usually one to two bars of data microwave signal connection. Mostly have to go to town miles away to be able to open & read Substack & to possibly post mY writings, artistic compositions & maybe insightful pouring words. I stay on the homestead & happy visit neighbors, help with farming-landscape projects most of the time these days.

Eventually the possibly profound mystic 🌌🌏🌀muse will fuse on this platform, although it’s so peaceful & clear being semi behind the threads.

🪷

👀

🌋

🎬

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Wow, that sounds intense but also amazing to be so disconnected. So you also don’t have a phone? Which country are you living in? I don’t know, lol I’m actually researching now to write a post on attention, and the life you’ve chosen for yourself is what we will all want in the future as we are ruining our creativity and attention with all this 'always-on' madness.

Thank you, Michael, for taking the time to read and comment. Have a wonderful day! 🖤

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Nov 5Liked by Tuğba Avci

Love it! I really second deleting apps! I regularly completely delete Insta and other apps. Out of sight really is out of mind. I have to get on board with turning my phone off at 8/9pm, that is a wonderful habit.

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So funny that we wrote about a similar topic in the same week. Love it! We are so aligned haha We need to chat about it on our Podcast. Thank you for taking the time to read, comment and restack baby 🖤

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I loved all of this. Really hit the nail on the head!

I turned off all notifications in 2021 and never looked back. Helps bring infinitely more intention when I do pick up my phone.

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I believe I stopped having notifications on about two years before you did, and honestly, I can’t imagine living with them turned on. Whenever I see friends and family using their phones with notifications enabled, it feels overwhelming just to look at their screens. Do you feel the same way? I think you only realise how wonderful life is without once experiencing it for a while 🥰

It’s telling that new phones come with notifications enabled by default; it’s frustrating how hard companies work to keep us hooked. Do you have any other strategies to manage your phone usage? I'm always eager to hear from others and learn from their experiences. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, Paddy 🖤

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Nov 4Liked by Tuğba Avci

Yes! 🎯 🙌🏼

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Thank you for inspiring me, Naomi 🥰 and for taking the time to read and comment. Have a wonderful evening 🖤

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Nov 4Liked by Tuğba Avci

Thank you for bringing up all these issues of overstimulation. I have been struggling with it.

It’s so hard to keep up with everything! We were not designed for this.

It’s upsetting to me how difficult it is to unplug.

Thanks for all the suggestions! We are all in desperate need to get away from technology.

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I know, right? We were not designed for this, and it is a significant health hazard. However, when you buy a new phone, notifications are automatically enabled. Still, we have a choice, and we can and should disable what these tech giants are trying desperately to get us hooked. Are you doing anything else that wasn’t on my list already? I would love to hear and learn from other people, too. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, Manuela. I always appreciate you seeing in my comments. It means a lot 🖤

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Nov 3Liked by Tuğba Avci

Thank you, I needed to read this right now.

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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! Really appreciated 🖤

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I loved this article! As someone who's prioritized mindfulness for the past four years, I've made conscious choices to minimize digital distractions. My phone's ringer is silenced all the time, notifications are disabled, and unnecessary apps have been deleted. I've even asked my loved ones to call rather than text, reserving digital communication for truly important matters.

The phone's allure is perplexing. Its persistent presence breeds distraction, causing us to miss meaningful interactions, like striking up conversations with strangers while waiting in line at a supermarket. Unfortunately, "phone toxicity" has become an epidemic.

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Wow, "phone toxicity" is the most appropriate term here 😢 You are so right! I think I will ask more friends to call me, even if they don’t live abroad. So far, I’ve only tried this with friends who live abroad. Do you do anything else? I’m always eager to learn more. Thank you so much, Yolanda, for reading and sharing your experience 🖤

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I don’t have a TV. I do love watching movies that move my soul. I have limited EMF to a laptop and phone. I love reading and writing, therefore most of my free time is spent in those activities. I have become a minimalist is my lifestyle taking my life to another level of awareness. Handwriting letters, birthday cards, and notes to friends have a soulful effect. I love beautiful color pens, and journals. Imagine texting and writing all the time on the phone or computer; you can forget how your handwriting looks like, the glide of the ink on paper its breathtaking just because it’s you and only you.

Thank you, Tuğba for writing this article. 🙏🏽

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Aww, Yolanda 😍 Your comment was so wonderful to read. I hope I don't sound cheesy haha

I also don't own a TV. I'm currently on a family holiday with a TV in our villa. My parents and sister love watching it, but I find the noise quite disturbing and I'm really struggling with it. I don't understand it. I enjoy watching movies, but only the ones I choose, not what the TV throws at me. Arghhh!

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Yes yes yes!

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Thank you, Patrick, for taking the time to read and comment 🖤 Very appreciated!

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Awesomely said and v. Important xox

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Nov 6·edited Nov 6Author

Thank you Lana for taking the time to read 🖤

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Hi Tugba, I appreciate your writing on this topic. I'm old enough to remember the way life felt when we could be truly unreachable. Honestly the always-on thing is a hellish way to live.

I wonder if there will be a backlash and in 20 years we'll be saying "what were we thinking back then?" Or else we'll all just lose our minds and ability to concentrate. One or the other.

I travel full-time, so the pressure to keep in touch with long-distance friends is constant. One consequence is that I've let some friendships drift away, which is sad but there's a limit to how many relationships I want to sustain through messaging. Are we all just waking up in the morning and wanting to scream "leave me alone!!!!!"???? I know I am.

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God, Tina, I felt every word of your comment—I'm not joking! I often wonder: will we one day wake up and think about how we could do this to ourselves? Let’s not forget that there was a time when doctors were promoting smoking on TV, and look at the conclusions we've drawn since then. We tend to underestimate the impact of all this on our mental and emotional well-being. Just because something isn't physically visible doesn't mean it doesn't cause harm!

I believe we are too relaxed when it comes to taking care of our attention and our mental health. I’m thinking of writing about this, as I've noticed it in myself as well. Perhaps we neglect our mental well-being because we live in a society that hyperfocuses on physical appearances, with all the creams, clothes, and so on. I’m not sure, but honestly, I wish I could go back to the time when I had a basic phone and could only send five text messages a day, each with a limit of 160 characters.

On another note, I love that you are a full-time traveller 🖤 I love travelling so much. Where in the world are you right now? I’m currently in Thailand with my family. Thank you for taking the time to read!

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I use all those messages as an excuse to not actually get any work done! 🙃 Imagine how productive we could be without the damn things...

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🤣🤣 me too sometimes, but when my phone is off, I just do the laundry or clean the flat to procrastinate haha Thank you so much, Jesse, for taking the time to read and comment 🖤

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