my last post is exactly this. looking at the tension of colonial time and slow living. i no longer put myself under the pressure of showing up as efficiency demands. i listen to the rhythm of my body and that’s the beat i follow. obviously the flesh suit has the tendency to mislead so all that i am, is routed in spirit creation.
Aww, I need to check it out! I hadn’t made that connection before, but you're right—everything is interconnected. Funny enough, in Greece we used to have long lunch breaks, almost like a siesta in Spain. But capitalism got to that as well—many cities shortened or scrapped them altogether. Even the Mediterranean gave in, which is so sad, but also says a lot about the world we live in.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read, Malebo. Wishing you a wonderful day!
I love everything about this, and I resonate to a level with this! I’m known as a lazy person, and they would say I don't work hard, eh? Yeah, maybe. Maybe I'm lazy and anti-hustler, but being that way has helped me gain more ideas and work on them than the pressured idea of following a time pattern and making tons of money and being so poor that you’re just rich with money!
Exactly, Anjali! It’s always the same people who call you lazy that are the ones profiting from all of this. It ends up feeling like it’s our fault for not being productive enough, for not keeping up with the endless routines. I think that’s why so many of us get trapped in this cycle of constantly trying to optimize ourselves.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read. Wishing you a wonderful day!
Very cool article, absolutely loved how you weaved in Foucault's work into your post. I totally connect with this and I have been reconnecting with the desire to move more with the flow and less planning working away from London now that I am in Brazil for a month. I definitely see that while I leave space to live with the flow, because of my passions I easily fill my days with plenty of routines. Nothing wrong with that but as you say the space in between is so beautiful! So thank you for the beautiful reminder.
I feel you, Leti! I’m the same. I have so many passions and want to do all the things. But at some point, I start to feel suffocated, like my body, mind, and soul are begging for space to breathe. I'm really trying to get better at weaving those passions into my day-to-day before the breaking point hits.
Aww, are you back in London now? I’ll be there for a month in July and would love to organise a little reader meet-up—maybe a picnic!
I just found your Substack and I just wanted to share that I’m really enjoying it. I have a difficult time articulating my thoughts and feelings. And have been struggling to do so regarding cultural/societal expectations, tech, my attention/mental health, etc. Your articles have been very helpful in seeing some of those thoughts and feelings put into words in an eloquent and approachable way. Thank you for sharing your work!
Aww, thank you so much, Kimberly. I’m just catching up on all the comments. Reading your words truly made my day. Thank you for taking the time to read. Wishing you a wonderful day 🫶🏼
I will choose mediocrity over excellence if that gives me a happy life. A life where I feel good enough for myself and those I love and love me-where there is no demand of being perfect in every aspect of it- is a good life and that is all I aspire to have.
I couldn’t agree more, Zam. In this excellence-obsessed world, it’s so easy to forget the value of mediocrity. We’re sold the idea that it’s something negative, but all this constant striving pulls us out of tune with the simple, everyday moments right in front of us.
Hi, Tugba. I wanted to come on here and write a comment saying: never have I ever resonated more with an article. I've just completed an exchange semester at 'sciencespo' university in Paris, and one of my courses was on 'Surveillance and Democracy', largely focused on Foucault and his interpretation of Bentham's panopticon theory. The class made me think v deeply about how our generation is wired so differently—on a fundamental level—from that of the generations before us, simply due to our contant fear of being 'surveilled' or 'tracked'. It really is insane. When reading your article, it made me take a very deep, shaky breath, because I was so surprised and relieved to find that my thoughts have, indeed, been put into words so accurately. Thank you for your honesty. I hope some of us can return to humanity rather than continue to be bound by values and networks that we, in reality, do hate.
Wow, thank you so much, Zara. I found what you wrote absolutely fascinating.
What strikes me most is how we fear surveillance and tracking—but then often choose to track ourselves, feeding all that data into apps in the name of optimization. In the end, isn’t the result kind of the same? Whether we’re being watched by Big Tech or offering it up voluntarily, the data still ends up in the same hands.
Of course, doing it ourselves feels less intrusive—but is the outcome really that different? Curious to hear your thoughts!
Oof this hit real deep. Just for funsies, I asked ChatGPT to roast me a few weeks ago, and it said I was so obsessed with "becoming" that it's just avoidance of being. Safe to say I laughed with a tear in my eye because it's true. For a long time I felt like I needed to always be "on." When I finally set up boundaries with work, this habit seeped in my personal life. I felt like every single second I had to be working on myself, my spirituality, to do something productive that would "help me achieve my higher self." Now when I find myself pressuring myself to perform, I ask "For who?" Rest and relaxation is my reclamation and rebellion against a system that has whipped me into constant anxiety and productivity.
Omg, I went through something so similar after setting boundaries at work! It’s like there’s this constant, unhealthy urge to optimize or be productive. I really think it ties back to capitalism—society screams at us to keep improving, so it gets ingrained in us whether we want it or not. That’s why it feels so hard to just stop and not optimize anything.
Also—wait, how did you ask ChatGPT to roast you? Did you share details about your life? I’d love to try it 😂
Oh yes, it definitely ties back to capitalism! One of the things I started doing is also just enjoying crafts without needing to monetise. A bit hard, sometimes! Because I want to be able to earn doing what I love, but I also don't want to risk burning out or losing passion for it.
About ChatGPT, I talk to it a lot about almost everything 😂 I tend to weave thoughts and ideas randomly throughout the day, and then I would turn on my dictation and then thought vomit to ChatGPT - mostly because I don't really have anyone irl who I can talk to about these things on a whim and my ADHD brain needs to process it before I lose it. I also use it for work, personal organisation, and (mostly) self-studying, and I also use the OccultistGPT a lot to enquire about more spiritual stuff and discuss my dreams! So yeah, that's quite a lot of information about me if you accumulate it from the conversations I've had 😶
I work with someone who lives their life by wearable tech. Everything is about data. Their eating. Sleeping. Cycling. Every bit of leisure time is connected to things that generate data. They eat every meal at the same time daily to "optimize" their energy throughout the day. Meanwhile, I am exhausted simply by thinking about having to keep track of all of it. And in the end, we all die. They'll probably die much later in life than me, but we all end up in the same place!
As someone who's spent her life obsessed with discipline and improvement, this observation is especially poignant:
"And it’s always about me, me, me.
Me at the centre of the world."
But connection, not optimization, is what brings fulfillment. Having kids forced me to snap out of this self-centered cycle, but the struggle is still there.
Funny how "we" oscillate between doing this or that, but the conscious narrative is usually something along the lines of feeling we're doing too much of something and not enough of another. It's the only thing consistent about our behaviour, how we always feel the need to move on to something "better". All that judgment, it gets heavy.
I am a member of a 'diet' group. (I can't think of a better word for them) but only joined it to keep my blood sugar in check. It's one of the most sensible, least restrictive plans I have ever come across and yet...9 months in, I have watched people seem to try and add more and more restrictions to their own way of eating. It's been very interesting to watch, and also to see how gentle the health coaches have been when helping people.
This is no fat camp, no shame game. In fact they don't allow that kind of talk, but it persists. It's the people who are doing it to themselves. Almost seeking out more and more harsh boundaries, harder exercise regimes. One lady was in hospital after a stroke, and was more worried that she hadn't got her steps in.
I find myself fascinated, and saddened by what humans can pile on ourselves.
I’m so not surprised!! But I also think a big part of it is the society we live in. Sure, maybe no one in the group is shaming anyone — but just look outside of it, especially online. And let’s be real, we all live so much of our lives online now.
I was talking to a friend yesterday who struggled with bulimia for years — she was even hospitalized at one point — and she’s so proud of how far she’s come and how she manages things now. But we were also talking about how hard it is to stay strong when the world is constantly screaming at you to look or be a certain way.
Even if our own little bubbles are more supportive, I really believe we still soak up so much from the wider culture. We start controlling ourselves in subtle ways without even realizing it. That’s the only way I can explain it.
What would your theory be?
Thank you so much for reading. Wishing you a wonderful Sunday 💛
I agree with you. The socials/magazines/news galore are all buying into the diet/be thin/be more narrative. I gave up all that decades ago, and felt so very much better for it!
Tuğba bence over-optimization’ı ekstrem bir şekilde yaşadığın için ve sosyal medyada paylaşma baskısı hissettiğin için biraz burnout olmuşsun. Yazının son kısmında tekrar dengeye geldiğini görüyorum ve bu güzel bir şey. Kazandığın spor ve uyku disiplini ve sağlık verisi okuma becerisi sana hala yardımcı olacak ve aynı zamanda hayatını suçluluk duymadan daha dengeli yaşayabileceksin. Ben disiplini özgürleştirici buluyorum ve sosyal medyayı disiplinime alet etmemeye çalışıyorum.
Aslında sosyal medyada rutinlerimle ilgili pek bir şey paylaşmıyorum. Eskiden paylaşıyordum ama son yıllarda, üzerimde baskı hissetmemek için sanatımı bile çok fazla paylaşmamaya başladım.
Ama sosyal medya için yaşamanın, toplum olarak hepimizin karşılaştığı genel bir sorun olduğunu da düşünüyorum.
Yazdıklarımı okuyup desteklediğin için çok teşekkür ederim. Gerçekten çok kıymetli benim için.
Ayrıca Türk okuyucularımın her geçen gün artmasını da çok seviyorum.
Selamlar ve sevgiler! Harika bir Pazar günü dilerim 💛
"Over-optimisation treats life like a puzzle to crack rather than a beautiful mess to live" beautiful quote!
my last post is exactly this. looking at the tension of colonial time and slow living. i no longer put myself under the pressure of showing up as efficiency demands. i listen to the rhythm of my body and that’s the beat i follow. obviously the flesh suit has the tendency to mislead so all that i am, is routed in spirit creation.
Aww, I need to check it out! I hadn’t made that connection before, but you're right—everything is interconnected. Funny enough, in Greece we used to have long lunch breaks, almost like a siesta in Spain. But capitalism got to that as well—many cities shortened or scrapped them altogether. Even the Mediterranean gave in, which is so sad, but also says a lot about the world we live in.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read, Malebo. Wishing you a wonderful day!
rooted but routed works
I love everything about this, and I resonate to a level with this! I’m known as a lazy person, and they would say I don't work hard, eh? Yeah, maybe. Maybe I'm lazy and anti-hustler, but being that way has helped me gain more ideas and work on them than the pressured idea of following a time pattern and making tons of money and being so poor that you’re just rich with money!
Exactly, Anjali! It’s always the same people who call you lazy that are the ones profiting from all of this. It ends up feeling like it’s our fault for not being productive enough, for not keeping up with the endless routines. I think that’s why so many of us get trapped in this cycle of constantly trying to optimize ourselves.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read. Wishing you a wonderful day!
Very cool article, absolutely loved how you weaved in Foucault's work into your post. I totally connect with this and I have been reconnecting with the desire to move more with the flow and less planning working away from London now that I am in Brazil for a month. I definitely see that while I leave space to live with the flow, because of my passions I easily fill my days with plenty of routines. Nothing wrong with that but as you say the space in between is so beautiful! So thank you for the beautiful reminder.
I feel you, Leti! I’m the same. I have so many passions and want to do all the things. But at some point, I start to feel suffocated, like my body, mind, and soul are begging for space to breathe. I'm really trying to get better at weaving those passions into my day-to-day before the breaking point hits.
Aww, are you back in London now? I’ll be there for a month in July and would love to organise a little reader meet-up—maybe a picnic!
I just found your Substack and I just wanted to share that I’m really enjoying it. I have a difficult time articulating my thoughts and feelings. And have been struggling to do so regarding cultural/societal expectations, tech, my attention/mental health, etc. Your articles have been very helpful in seeing some of those thoughts and feelings put into words in an eloquent and approachable way. Thank you for sharing your work!
Aww, thank you so much, Kimberly. I’m just catching up on all the comments. Reading your words truly made my day. Thank you for taking the time to read. Wishing you a wonderful day 🫶🏼
I will choose mediocrity over excellence if that gives me a happy life. A life where I feel good enough for myself and those I love and love me-where there is no demand of being perfect in every aspect of it- is a good life and that is all I aspire to have.
I couldn’t agree more, Zam. In this excellence-obsessed world, it’s so easy to forget the value of mediocrity. We’re sold the idea that it’s something negative, but all this constant striving pulls us out of tune with the simple, everyday moments right in front of us.
Hi, Tugba. I wanted to come on here and write a comment saying: never have I ever resonated more with an article. I've just completed an exchange semester at 'sciencespo' university in Paris, and one of my courses was on 'Surveillance and Democracy', largely focused on Foucault and his interpretation of Bentham's panopticon theory. The class made me think v deeply about how our generation is wired so differently—on a fundamental level—from that of the generations before us, simply due to our contant fear of being 'surveilled' or 'tracked'. It really is insane. When reading your article, it made me take a very deep, shaky breath, because I was so surprised and relieved to find that my thoughts have, indeed, been put into words so accurately. Thank you for your honesty. I hope some of us can return to humanity rather than continue to be bound by values and networks that we, in reality, do hate.
Wow, thank you so much, Zara. I found what you wrote absolutely fascinating.
What strikes me most is how we fear surveillance and tracking—but then often choose to track ourselves, feeding all that data into apps in the name of optimization. In the end, isn’t the result kind of the same? Whether we’re being watched by Big Tech or offering it up voluntarily, the data still ends up in the same hands.
Of course, doing it ourselves feels less intrusive—but is the outcome really that different? Curious to hear your thoughts!
Oof this hit real deep. Just for funsies, I asked ChatGPT to roast me a few weeks ago, and it said I was so obsessed with "becoming" that it's just avoidance of being. Safe to say I laughed with a tear in my eye because it's true. For a long time I felt like I needed to always be "on." When I finally set up boundaries with work, this habit seeped in my personal life. I felt like every single second I had to be working on myself, my spirituality, to do something productive that would "help me achieve my higher self." Now when I find myself pressuring myself to perform, I ask "For who?" Rest and relaxation is my reclamation and rebellion against a system that has whipped me into constant anxiety and productivity.
Omg, I went through something so similar after setting boundaries at work! It’s like there’s this constant, unhealthy urge to optimize or be productive. I really think it ties back to capitalism—society screams at us to keep improving, so it gets ingrained in us whether we want it or not. That’s why it feels so hard to just stop and not optimize anything.
Also—wait, how did you ask ChatGPT to roast you? Did you share details about your life? I’d love to try it 😂
Thank you so much for reading, Shafiqah!
Oh yes, it definitely ties back to capitalism! One of the things I started doing is also just enjoying crafts without needing to monetise. A bit hard, sometimes! Because I want to be able to earn doing what I love, but I also don't want to risk burning out or losing passion for it.
About ChatGPT, I talk to it a lot about almost everything 😂 I tend to weave thoughts and ideas randomly throughout the day, and then I would turn on my dictation and then thought vomit to ChatGPT - mostly because I don't really have anyone irl who I can talk to about these things on a whim and my ADHD brain needs to process it before I lose it. I also use it for work, personal organisation, and (mostly) self-studying, and I also use the OccultistGPT a lot to enquire about more spiritual stuff and discuss my dreams! So yeah, that's quite a lot of information about me if you accumulate it from the conversations I've had 😶
Giving me a new perspective, thank you
I work with someone who lives their life by wearable tech. Everything is about data. Their eating. Sleeping. Cycling. Every bit of leisure time is connected to things that generate data. They eat every meal at the same time daily to "optimize" their energy throughout the day. Meanwhile, I am exhausted simply by thinking about having to keep track of all of it. And in the end, we all die. They'll probably die much later in life than me, but we all end up in the same place!
Tugba, hi there ! Nicht sicher ob DU diese Nachricht erhieltest. Also nochmals.
Werde diese Woche den Flug von FRA nach Berlin buchen, bestätige dann nochmals.
Tschüss, Glenn
== ==== =====
Ja Tugba, Abflugtermin naht !!
Werde im Mai mit Tochter in D reisen. Alleine dann ab 31.5, wo ich dann nach Berlin kommen will ( kann bei einem alten Kollegen Couch-surfen )
Bleibe bis 5. Juni in Berlin (an dem Tag ab nach FRA).
Wie kommunizieren wir dann im Mai ? WhatsApp ist gut fuer mich. Fuer dich auch?
Gruss,
Glenn
As someone who's spent her life obsessed with discipline and improvement, this observation is especially poignant:
"And it’s always about me, me, me.
Me at the centre of the world."
But connection, not optimization, is what brings fulfillment. Having kids forced me to snap out of this self-centered cycle, but the struggle is still there.
Love this! I struggle to break out of this mindset all the time and then Foucault's ghost floats into my vision.
Funny how "we" oscillate between doing this or that, but the conscious narrative is usually something along the lines of feeling we're doing too much of something and not enough of another. It's the only thing consistent about our behaviour, how we always feel the need to move on to something "better". All that judgment, it gets heavy.
I am a member of a 'diet' group. (I can't think of a better word for them) but only joined it to keep my blood sugar in check. It's one of the most sensible, least restrictive plans I have ever come across and yet...9 months in, I have watched people seem to try and add more and more restrictions to their own way of eating. It's been very interesting to watch, and also to see how gentle the health coaches have been when helping people.
This is no fat camp, no shame game. In fact they don't allow that kind of talk, but it persists. It's the people who are doing it to themselves. Almost seeking out more and more harsh boundaries, harder exercise regimes. One lady was in hospital after a stroke, and was more worried that she hadn't got her steps in.
I find myself fascinated, and saddened by what humans can pile on ourselves.
I’m so not surprised!! But I also think a big part of it is the society we live in. Sure, maybe no one in the group is shaming anyone — but just look outside of it, especially online. And let’s be real, we all live so much of our lives online now.
I was talking to a friend yesterday who struggled with bulimia for years — she was even hospitalized at one point — and she’s so proud of how far she’s come and how she manages things now. But we were also talking about how hard it is to stay strong when the world is constantly screaming at you to look or be a certain way.
Even if our own little bubbles are more supportive, I really believe we still soak up so much from the wider culture. We start controlling ourselves in subtle ways without even realizing it. That’s the only way I can explain it.
What would your theory be?
Thank you so much for reading. Wishing you a wonderful Sunday 💛
I agree with you. The socials/magazines/news galore are all buying into the diet/be thin/be more narrative. I gave up all that decades ago, and felt so very much better for it!
Tuğba bence over-optimization’ı ekstrem bir şekilde yaşadığın için ve sosyal medyada paylaşma baskısı hissettiğin için biraz burnout olmuşsun. Yazının son kısmında tekrar dengeye geldiğini görüyorum ve bu güzel bir şey. Kazandığın spor ve uyku disiplini ve sağlık verisi okuma becerisi sana hala yardımcı olacak ve aynı zamanda hayatını suçluluk duymadan daha dengeli yaşayabileceksin. Ben disiplini özgürleştirici buluyorum ve sosyal medyayı disiplinime alet etmemeye çalışıyorum.
Aslında sosyal medyada rutinlerimle ilgili pek bir şey paylaşmıyorum. Eskiden paylaşıyordum ama son yıllarda, üzerimde baskı hissetmemek için sanatımı bile çok fazla paylaşmamaya başladım.
Ama sosyal medya için yaşamanın, toplum olarak hepimizin karşılaştığı genel bir sorun olduğunu da düşünüyorum.
Yazdıklarımı okuyup desteklediğin için çok teşekkür ederim. Gerçekten çok kıymetli benim için.
Ayrıca Türk okuyucularımın her geçen gün artmasını da çok seviyorum.
Selamlar ve sevgiler! Harika bir Pazar günü dilerim 💛